20
Feb 12
Polygamy: Deviant Social Behavior or Acceptable Alternative Lifestyle
The Brown Family from TLC's "Sister Wives"
The reading for this week, Only You. And You. And You., and the TLC show “Sister Wives” made me think that polygamy might not be so bad. It has a long historical tradition in societies across the globe, but it is largely frowned upon in the West, and especially in the United States today.
As many social conservatives like to point out, legalizing gay marriage may lead to a wider acceptance of polygamous relationships and then down the slippery slope to bestiality or other “unnatural” behaviors.
The difference of course between bestiality and polygamy or gay marriage or straight marriage is that it involves consenting adults who are cognizant of their actions.
Polygamy comes in several varieties – one man taking multiple wives (polygyny), one woman taking multiple husbands (polyandry), or multiple husbands and wives (group marriage). Relationships that don’t formally enter a marriage arrangement are considered polyamory.
While I do not want to be a polygamist, I don’t see the reason for preventing other people from doing so.
What does everyone think?
I think the main reason people are so scared of polygamy is simply because it is different. I personally can’t see myself in a polygamous relationship in any sense of the word but for many people it is a completely normal way to have a relationship, lets not forget the religion factor that plays a role in many of these relationships such as Mormons. Although I don’t follow the show “sister wives” very closely I have seen it and I believe that showcasing this lifestyle was much needed, I had my thoughts about a man with more than one wife but after watching the show realized they were pretty normal.
I believe consenting adults have the right to define their own relationships by their own terms, make their own rules, and set their own boundaries. I personally have a distaste for polygamous relationships, while a respect those who partake in them as sometimes these relationships may merely be sexual with with a primary couple(s) involved. I completely support the choices of those involved in a polygamous relationship, however I think their is a fine line between a polygamous relationship and a polygamous marriage. I don’t care if I sound like a hypocrite for for saying that I support gay marriage and not a polygamous marriage. I really don’t want to offend anybody because as I said I support polygamous relationships, even though I personally have a distaste for them; I can’t support polygamous marriages, for several reasons, which to avoid offending anybody, I will not elaborate on. I believe that a marriage legally and spiritually (not to be confused with religious ideals), should be between two people or two souls. I mean two people, not a man and woman, as some people believe it should be defined.. That is just my personal opinion.
However, where the law is concerned, if the relationship(s), are legitimate, than it should be legal. Also, if if it were up for a popular vote, at state or federal level i would support that legislation. As it is a person’s right to choose whom they wish to marry. Denying that choice to anyone is wrong, Also, these relationships and marriages in no way have any bearing on my life or those around me in any negative way, so there is no logical reason for denying those rights to others. It’s really sad that a lot of “conservative,” people don’t consider that when they vote or publicly oppose gay marriage. Why waste so much time, energy, and money fighting something that doesn’t harm or effect you?
I don’t think polygamy is bad. Many people around the world practice polygamy and it seems to work for them. There are few different religions such as Christianity, Islam and Mormon that permit polygamy. I believe that if one chooses to be in that kind of a relationship for whatever reason, they should have the right to do so. However, I personally can’t imagine being in a polygamous relationship. I think it would be difficult to keep track of such a big family. Relationships with one partner require a lot of work and patience so I have hard time picturing all the work that comes with having five or six partners.
I think its weird….I’ve only seen a few episodes of the show “Sister Wives” but it all seemed super random. These ladies were clearly jealous of each other. Especially when the guy brings in the last chick. Even when the kids in the family are asked if they will continue in their parents paths they all say that they wouldn’t chose to be in a polygamous relationship. I think that gives the strong indication that their lives aren’t exactly whats seen on TV. When the camera’s are off i’m sure its a different scene. The first wife feels inferior to the rest because she couldn’t have more babies and all the other one’s have a whole bunch. It just seems like a constant battle and competition even though that’s not what they say on the screen but you can watch the women try to hold face on camera. I realize other polygamous relationships have multiple partners on both sides but in this show none of the women have other men that they date or live with. I feel like the guy has got to be feelin like a champ because he has all these ladies who worship him and cook, clean and have his babies. In my mind its like the cheater bringing home his other baby mommas and everyone accepting it. Its too weird for me, but if that’s how people chose to live than cool, i don’t have to go home to you every night : )
After some consideration, I’m surprised that polygamy might be something that people choose. Not because it’s immoral or wrong, but because if I were ever in such a position, I would be the most passive-aggressive, jealous sister wife to have ever walked the planet. That being said, I can see how some others might not feel the same way. In theory, the practice could be beneficial. It’s a community. Helpful in raising children, in receiving support, and so on.
However, the polyamory lifestyle mentioned in our other reading seems like it could have the potential to work. Enough love from all parties to go around.
But yeah, totally agree that when the new wife was brought in on that show that the others were totally jealous. But was it because of the missed time with their husband? She was pretty, young, thin, and preggars. She was in what they probably considered to be the prime of their lives. They were likely jealous of her for that – which would be the case in any group of women with those ideals. Regardless of whether or not they had the same husband.
What I find most troubling, really, is not that polygamous marriages are not recognized by the government, but that they are illegal – that you can go to jail for it. It kind of reminds me of the sodomy laws in the US or the proposed law in Unganda that wants to make homosexuality punishable by death.
At the least we should decriminalize polygamy.
I think that jealousy can be a problem in any relationship – friendship or romantic. It definitely presents a unique challenge to those who in a polygamous relationship though.
The first three wives all got married within three years of each other, and then they started having kids after that. About 17 years after the third marriage, the fourth wife get married and things change – the sister wives had to adjust to this new dynamic and get settled in.
But one of the things to keep in mind is that they all (except one sister wife) grew up in a polygamous family themselves, so this seemed normal to them.