WMST/CMST 419

The Butch Factor
I just want to reflect on the documentary we watched on Friday called The Butch Factor.

As I look back on my teenage years and my time in college so far, I’ve never had the opportunity to be around many homosexuals. Coming from a small farming community, it was never really brought up or talked about. I have always had the understanding that everyone is to treated as equal regardless of orientation but I’ve never really been able to gain insight into a homosexual’s point of view.

Watching this documentary definitely helped me with that. For me, this film was an introduction into gay males and the community they are a part of. It went in-depth to explain what being male, gay, and masculine means to certain individuals. As I watched, my eyes and ears were wide open! This was a perspective I have never really seen or heard before. It was very encouraging to see how united the groups/leagues of men were. And how each individual has their own definition for masculinity.

I feel ‘The Butch Factor’ was very well put together with various insights and identities. I am so glad to have had this opportunity. I hope to gain future insight and understanding in my support of the pride community.

How did other classmates view the film?

“The idea is that saying something complimentary to someone, anyone for that matter, does not have any bearing on one’s sexuality.”

Never really understood the phrase “No Homo”. I mean I hear people saying it all the time, but why?? Is that really necessary? Why is homosexuality looked to as a bad thing? ‘Homo’sexuality has advanced as a joke rather than identifier in this day and age, don’t you think? I think what she did with this phrase is brilliant. Goes do show how stupid people are in the world. You aren’t a homosexual because you do certain things. Etc…)

Check out this video of Franchesca and her blog!:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qNBzHaXlNIwatch?v=5qNBzHaXlNI

I really enjoyed the video we watched Friday in class.  It was great to broaden our views on homosexuality and realize some of the turmoil gay men face day to day. Out of all that I noted from the video what stood out the most was one of the comments about the “man card,”  and the idea of us giving it to certain men and making others earn it.  Who are we to define what manhood is and who has to earn it?  Why is it that heterosexuals are given one and homosexuals have to earn it?

After seeing the video I thought about how ridiculously rigid the model of masculinity is in the U.S.  Why is that so?  When I lived in South America men would often give each other massages in class or sit with their arms around each other–this was never met with gay comments though.  Men can wear capris and hug without reprimand or having their sexuality questioned.  I realize there are many cultural aspects that make this so, but if men did this in the U.S, they might be made fun of.  Gender as a performance is such an interesting way to think of our roles in society.

But perhaps the best quote of the video was a man who eventually decided to quit with any performance:

“I didn’t know how to be a boy, I just knew how to be me.”

Just as we have seen in the couple of recent movies such as No Strings Attached or the Friends with Benefits, those kinds of relationships just don’t work. Speaking from my own experience and many of my friends who had tried it, it seems that while both people maintain that friendship, one of them or both in some cases develop feelings. I believe that you can only remain being “ just friends” for short amount of time even if you make yourself very clear that you have no interest in being in a relationship, the other person will still want to be more than friends hoping you might change your mind.  It makes sense as to why the relationships most often fail, when two people enjoy each other’s companies and are obviously sexually attracted to each other but not dating, it is bound to turn into a disaster.  Has anyone been in this situation where it has actually worked? 

http://www.salon.com/2001/07/25/coming_out/

In the above article it talks about Julia Cypher, Melissa Ethridge’s ex-girlfriend of 12 years comes out straight and claims she never was gay. She talks about how it was much harder to come out straight then it was gay, and that she struggled all her life with men and that she was afraid of them and they always kind of avoided her or she avoided them so she decided to date women. She claims she loved the emotional relationship with her female partners but not really the sex. She talks about the ups and downs of being gay or bisexual, she never really came to terms of what to call herself because her emotions were all over the place with how she felt towards men and women. She was afraid of what would happen if she was with a man because of experiences she’s had with men. When she came out as straight, lesbians were furious with her, almost like they felt betrayed. I can see why Melissa would but not other gay women.

I don’t really understand why people care, it’s a personal preference. Like we’ve talked about in class, if someone wants to be gay or straight then that’s there prerogative. No one should have to come out as anything, if they want to be with a certain sex then so be it, that’s their personal choice and no one else’s. Just like when we talked about Cynthia Nixon saying she was gay and then changing to bisexual. People care way to much what someone says they prefer, that is part of our private life and what goes on in the existence of our own home is for us not the public. I just think it’s ridiculous that people care so much whether someone decides to say their gay or straight or change their mind about their sexuality, it’s their choice and we have that freedom to choose and no one should judge for that!