16
Feb 12
Whats your number??
So I recently watched the movie “what’s your number” which is of course about a girl who is obsessed with not raising the number of guys she has slept with past 20…
Have any of you dreaded that moment when you know your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to ask that loaded question of how many other people have you slept with, and as you watch their face for signs of reactions when you admit that number you dread the moment when they walk out because they will think you have slept with too many… I know I sure have. The reason I dread that moment is because, well to be honest, I’m embarrassed of the number of men I have slept with. As a sexually active female with a healthy libido I feel embarrassed about being embarrassed about my number. Why am I embarrassed? Because as a female I am judged more harshly for a higher number then a man would? In the movie mentioned above the main girl goes on a crazy adventure to try to find her ex-lovers because she does not want to go over -the number of 20 partners, and thus she must find her ex-lovers so she doesn’t sleep with anymore people. The fact that in the movie they make 20 seem like such an outlandish numbers makes me a little nervous for myself.
Do we feel like there is a number that is too high? For a female? For a male?
I think that as a culture we focus too much on having a number to begin with. What does it matter if it is 20 or 10 people as long as you don’t have any STD/Is it really doesn’t make much of a difference. I remember a Friends episode where Monica and a lover, maybe it was Richard I really don’t remember the guy, and she and him were having the number talk. They didn’t talk about being tested for any sexually transmitted infections or dieses but they were so fixated on that number. Why is that a big deal? Why is it more important to keep your number below some number you made up to think society will not label you as a slut or something of that sort. That also brings up the what counts to your number debate, if we just did ____ does it count to my number?
I think it all depends on your morals and values and how your were raised. You make the judgement whether you feel like a certain amount of partners is too many or not. Society is always going to place judgement cause thats the type of society we live in. The only one to make judgement is you, I think it depends on how you feel about having multiple sexual partners and if your okay with that or not. If you don’t care then do what you do, if you do care then you’ll probably re-evaluate how many people you have sex with. It’s all a personal preference and your decision no one else can make it or tell you what is good or bad.
I think there is a stigma for men sometimes as well on how big or small your number is. When your friends ask well how many girls have you slept with should you feel ashamed to only have slept with ___ girls. This really just enforces the idea that women should not sleep around or they will be considered slutty and a guy should try to sleep with as many as possible so he can be manly. Dichotomies like this just generate seperation between the sexes and splits people apart. I agree that it is more about how safe you are and how you have connected with those people over how many conquests you have had. The number game is always one people dread to have but with stable and open communication it can be something easy to discuss.
It’s understandable that a woman or a man would be interested in knowing how many sexual partners their partner had previously been with. I think that selfishness plays a huge role in this. Upon “getting” with a partner, I feel like a person would want to know how people their partner has been with, not only because they wouldn’t want to be hooking up with a “slut” but because they feel like they need to be and remain the only ones they have that connection with. When I get with a guy, I want that connection to be shared between us and us only. Thinking of him with other women is unattractive. Hence “selfishness”
I don’t discuss the number of men I’ve slept with to a potential mate or a boyfriend. I don’t think there is a reason as to why they need to know that number. Answering that question might cause issues in that relationship if the number is not what they expect. When you decide to share that number, I don’t think you should feel embarrassed no matter how high that number might be because there are many girls out there who have your number. It might be more common than you think. I am going to be turning twenty nine very soon and I don’t have plans to settle down or get married any time soon so by the time I decide to be in a committed relationship there is a possibility that that number could be high. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a high number as long as you are being responsible and using protection. Also, who is to judge what the appropriate number is.
I agree with the last comment that was left. The number question is completely all about judgement and causes much discussion and argument that most have probably regretted after initiating the conversation. In my personal life, I choose to not share the number of men I have been sexual with. It’s caused issues of insecurity and I don’t want to focus on thinking about my past with anyone. Your number should be yours and without judgement of being a whore or a prude. As long as you are a healthy sexual being, I find happiness in my own morals without a number being attached.
I know I have dreaded the what’s your number question before that is for sure. I am with a girl who had only slept with one person before me, when I told her how many people I had slept with I was so scared of her reaction. While my number is not 20, it surely was more than one. She handled quite well, but with her having slept with one person made it so that I was somewhat embarrassed to tell her mine. I personally think 20 is too high. I don’t judge people by any means, but I would hate to think of my future wife sleeping with that many people. It would just bother me, and I would never want to have to tell my wife that I slept with 20 plus people. That is my personal opinion because when you have found someone you care about you really truly do wish your number was lower.
I do feel that it is important to ask a person how many partners they have slept with. I think it’s more important to get tested rather than to know a number. If they are sexually healthy then who cares how many people they have slept with. I don’t think a number should be an issue in determining if a partner. It makes me wonder if the people who wrote this film purposely chose 20 as their number to keep people from wanting their number to go up because it is too high or those whose number is already high from going higher. I don’t think there is such number for either women or men. I think it’s more about being aware that diseases exist and that it is important to go to the doctor and get checked. I understand that going to the doctor can be embarrassing but would you rather know that something is wrong and take medicine and cure myself or have a partner come back and tell you that they might have caught something from you. Again, I don’t think it has anything to do with numbers.