WMST/CMST 419

So I recently watched the movie “what’s your number” which is of course about a girl who is obsessed with not raising the number of guys she has slept with past 20…

Have any of you dreaded that moment when you know your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to ask that loaded question of how many other people have you slept with, and as you watch their face for signs of reactions when you admit that number you dread the moment when they walk out because they will think you have slept with too many… I know I sure have. The reason I dread that moment is because, well to be honest, I’m embarrassed of the number of men I have slept with. As a sexually active female with a healthy libido I feel embarrassed about being embarrassed about my number. Why am I embarrassed? Because as a female I am judged more harshly for a higher number then a man would? In the movie mentioned above the main girl goes on a crazy adventure to try to find her ex-lovers because she does not want to go over -the number of 20 partners, and thus she must find her ex-lovers so she doesn’t sleep with anymore people. The fact that in the movie they make 20 seem like such an outlandish numbers makes me a little nervous for myself.

Do we feel like there is a number that is too high? For a female? For a male?

In reading the articles and after the class discussion, I think that men need a movement to redefine what it means to be masculine. Just like feminism taught that women can do as much outside of the home as within, a proper masculinist movement would advocate that men can be more than just a rigid definition that society sets.

In C.J. Pascoe’s article, “Dude, Your A Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School,” I highly doubt that guys enjoy having to maintain such an appearance of manliness so as not to appear less than a man. The idea from our text book that men are so promiscuous to maintain their manhood and that some fraternity rapes can be attributed to this as well is surely something that men do not want.

Even the idea that friendship has to be closely watched seems tiring. The love that we feel for a girlfriend/boyfriend is very different from the love that we feel for our pets, or for our parents, or for our siblings – and it is definitely a different love that we feel for our friends. Constantly worrying about how a friendship may appear leaves you little time to just enjoy it for what it is.

When men can be liberated from conformity, then women and men will have true equality. You cannot change one side of the equation without changing the other. The idea of feminism has been changed. Now it is masculinism that needs to be conquered next.