To go along with the “What a Homosexual is not”
This video talks about trans people and the things people say that “sound like a compliment” but are not actual compliments. I found this video is very serious and funny at the same time.
I was browsing videos on youtube and came across this one. This video is a 13-year old girl who talks about “Slut Shaming and Why its wrong.”
I was shocked that a young woman would put herself on youtube and discuss this topic so openly when I first clicked on the link. But then as she was talking about how girls that she knows of her own age were “slut shaming” amongst other things, and I looked about on how my friends and I talked at her age I stopped being so “adult” about it and listened to what she had to say.
I think my favorite part of the video is when she talks about where slut shaming is from and what kind of societies have slut shaming – rape culture. She is a very intelligent 13-year old and there definately needs to be more women (and men) out there to stand against slut shaming and many other things.
For non LGBTQ members of this class, I just wanted to share this video with you. This is an an interview with Dan Savage, whom is both a famous sex columnist and a gay man. He talks about the worst advice he has ever given and the repercussions of that advice. In this instance he advised a 15 yr old boy to come out. He mentions a few details as why some people feel they should come out and some things that often tend to happen whether person comes out or not.
A lot of people, who aren’t LGBTQ take the stance that person has the choice to come out and that they don’t have to. That is both true and wrong. its true because we all have that choice. However, from my own experience, I felt like i was living a lie and I really was. I felt like I needed to reveal that part of me. Coming out is only an issue because people make it an issue. If our society did not put so much emphasis on gender roles and homophobic ideals, nobody would have to come out as anything, because it would not be an issue that anybody had to really acknowledge. With the exception of transgender and third gender people whom should be supported. As again their gender is not a choice, with the exception with the gender they feel most comfortable with identifying themselves with and choose to display themselves as. In which case, they deserve our compassion and understanding. If all the students in our country, whom take classes like ours, took what they learned and adapted to their lives, I really believe our society could change for the better in so many ways. This isn’t a drastic change, simply showing respect and acceptance (not the same as tolerance), really isn’t that difficult. To put it in perspective, again for non LGBTQ people or allies, you don’t know if a neighbor, a friend, a sibling, one of your parents, cousins, your even one of your (future), children may be LGBTQ, your possible intolerant or homophobic/transphobic, views and ideals may seriously hurt someone you care about, whether you know it or not. A good general rule of thumb is to have respect for all people.
“Coming Out” “The worst advice Dan Savage ever gave”
The Brown Family from TLC's "Sister Wives"
The reading for this week, Only You. And You. And You., and the TLC show “Sister Wives” made me think that polygamy might not be so bad. It has a long historical tradition in societies across the globe, but it is largely frowned upon in the West, and especially in the United States today.
As many social conservatives like to point out, legalizing gay marriage may lead to a wider acceptance of polygamous relationships and then down the slippery slope to bestiality or other “unnatural” behaviors.
The difference of course between bestiality and polygamy or gay marriage or straight marriage is that it involves consenting adults who are cognizant of their actions.
Polygamy comes in several varieties – one man taking multiple wives (polygyny), one woman taking multiple husbands (polyandry), or multiple husbands and wives (group marriage). Relationships that don’t formally enter a marriage arrangement are considered polyamory.
While I do not want to be a polygamist, I don’t see the reason for preventing other people from doing so.
What does everyone think?
So a friend of mine shared this video with me. Though this video doesn’t address all the stereotypes, it does forcefully address many of them. This video is a preview to a upcoming Documentary call “What homosexuality is not.” I am really excited for this film to come out. A lot of activists, speakers, and educational materials are passive about speaking out. This video is aggressive and in your face about the message without being disrespectful. I believe that this documentary will be great for the LGBT community. While trying to educate heterosexuals whom are not allies, about heterosexuality, the people responsible for this video are not going out of their way to justify who they are or their sexual orientation to anyone, which I believe is how it should be.
http://www.economist.com/node/18986073
This article states that patriarchal societies in which women are more likely to work in the home may be the result of their ancient ancestors adopting the use of the plough in early farming techniques. In compares those societies to others that did not adopt the plough, but stuck with a hoe. Thought I would share.
The Butch Factor
I just want to reflect on the documentary we watched on Friday called The Butch Factor.
As I look back on my teenage years and my time in college so far, I’ve never had the opportunity to be around many homosexuals. Coming from a small farming community, it was never really brought up or talked about. I have always had the understanding that everyone is to treated as equal regardless of orientation but I’ve never really been able to gain insight into a homosexual’s point of view.
Watching this documentary definitely helped me with that. For me, this film was an introduction into gay males and the community they are a part of. It went in-depth to explain what being male, gay, and masculine means to certain individuals. As I watched, my eyes and ears were wide open! This was a perspective I have never really seen or heard before. It was very encouraging to see how united the groups/leagues of men were. And how each individual has their own definition for masculinity.
I feel ‘The Butch Factor’ was very well put together with various insights and identities. I am so glad to have had this opportunity. I hope to gain future insight and understanding in my support of the pride community.
How did other classmates view the film?
“The idea is that saying something complimentary to someone, anyone for that matter, does not have any bearing on one’s sexuality.”
Never really understood the phrase “No Homo”. I mean I hear people saying it all the time, but why?? Is that really necessary? Why is homosexuality looked to as a bad thing? ‘Homo’sexuality has advanced as a joke rather than identifier in this day and age, don’t you think? I think what she did with this phrase is brilliant. Goes do show how stupid people are in the world. You aren’t a homosexual because you do certain things. Etc…)
Check out this video of Franchesca and her blog!:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qNBzHaXlNIwatch?v=5qNBzHaXlNI
I really enjoyed the video we watched Friday in class. It was great to broaden our views on homosexuality and realize some of the turmoil gay men face day to day. Out of all that I noted from the video what stood out the most was one of the comments about the “man card,” and the idea of us giving it to certain men and making others earn it. Who are we to define what manhood is and who has to earn it? Why is it that heterosexuals are given one and homosexuals have to earn it?
After seeing the video I thought about how ridiculously rigid the model of masculinity is in the U.S. Why is that so? When I lived in South America men would often give each other massages in class or sit with their arms around each other–this was never met with gay comments though. Men can wear capris and hug without reprimand or having their sexuality questioned. I realize there are many cultural aspects that make this so, but if men did this in the U.S, they might be made fun of. Gender as a performance is such an interesting way to think of our roles in society.
But perhaps the best quote of the video was a man who eventually decided to quit with any performance:
“I didn’t know how to be a boy, I just knew how to be me.”
Just as we have seen in the couple of recent movies such as No Strings Attached or the Friends with Benefits, those kinds of relationships just don’t work. Speaking from my own experience and many of my friends who had tried it, it seems that while both people maintain that friendship, one of them or both in some cases develop feelings. I believe that you can only remain being “ just friends” for short amount of time even if you make yourself very clear that you have no interest in being in a relationship, the other person will still want to be more than friends hoping you might change your mind. It makes sense as to why the relationships most often fail, when two people enjoy each other’s companies and are obviously sexually attracted to each other but not dating, it is bound to turn into a disaster. Has anyone been in this situation where it has actually worked?
http://www.salon.com/2001/07/25/coming_out/
In the above article it talks about Julia Cypher, Melissa Ethridge’s ex-girlfriend of 12 years comes out straight and claims she never was gay. She talks about how it was much harder to come out straight then it was gay, and that she struggled all her life with men and that she was afraid of them and they always kind of avoided her or she avoided them so she decided to date women. She claims she loved the emotional relationship with her female partners but not really the sex. She talks about the ups and downs of being gay or bisexual, she never really came to terms of what to call herself because her emotions were all over the place with how she felt towards men and women. She was afraid of what would happen if she was with a man because of experiences she’s had with men. When she came out as straight, lesbians were furious with her, almost like they felt betrayed. I can see why Melissa would but not other gay women.
I don’t really understand why people care, it’s a personal preference. Like we’ve talked about in class, if someone wants to be gay or straight then that’s there prerogative. No one should have to come out as anything, if they want to be with a certain sex then so be it, that’s their personal choice and no one else’s. Just like when we talked about Cynthia Nixon saying she was gay and then changing to bisexual. People care way to much what someone says they prefer, that is part of our private life and what goes on in the existence of our own home is for us not the public. I just think it’s ridiculous that people care so much whether someone decides to say their gay or straight or change their mind about their sexuality, it’s their choice and we have that freedom to choose and no one should judge for that!
I have finished marking your midterm exams, and you can check your scores in the online gradebook. (Remember to use your student i.d. number as your password for the gradebook, rather than your password for the rest of this site.) I normally aim to return in exams within seven calendar days, but something unexpected happened Thursday that prevented that. I’ll have them for you on Wednesday.
The exam had 22 points for Part I (short answer) and 12 points for Part II (definitions – choose six), for a total of 34 points. However, in grading the exams, I saw that #6 [explain what Gayle Rubin meant by "sex is a vector of oppression"] was answered correctly by only three students. I assume that this means I worded the question poorly or did not emphasize this very much in class, so I deleted this question from the total, and treated the points as extra credit. The extra credit points are calculated into your total points for the exam, which now is worth 31 points in the gradebook. (Keep in mind that the weighting of the exam in your overall course grade remains the same.)
For the class as a whole, the exams were very good, including several perfect scores. However, I want to reassure students that did not do as well as they may have expected that they can still successfully pass the course, and have opportunities to bring their course grade up: the upcoming presentation is worth a larger percentage of your grade than the midterm; you will have a second exam that will be in the same format (over material covered since the midterm); and class blogging is ongoing, and graded very generously — you really just need to do it to earn an A on blog entries.
In class today, we watched Christopher Hines’ film The Butch Factor, about masculinity and gay men — the link takes you to the film’s official web site. The site includes a description of the film, early reviews, and information about purchasing the DVD.
An abridged version of the video (about 46 minutes long) can be seen at LogoTV.com. The full-length version is available from Netflix, and probably from other DVD outlets as well.
Here is some additional information about some of the men featured in the film:
- Trevor Hoppe (the Ph.D. student who decided to “be all the fag I can be”) is nearly finished with his doctorate and already has several scholarly as well as popular publications. His book, Beyond Masculinity: Queer Men on Gender, Sex, and Politics, is scheduled to be published early next year.
- View the online CV of Keith Harris, professor at UC-Riverside, here.
- Bill Yoelin (the rugby player who likes the Incredible Hulk) has worked extensively in filmography as an editor.
- Queer Today is the forum/news site founded by Mark Snyder.
- Jack Malebranche is the pen name of Jack Donovan. You can find out more about his book, Androphilia, and his anti-gay gay views at the book’s web site.
- Larry Gross is a professor of communication at USC Annenberg School for Communication. He worked with George Gerbner on cultivation theory, and he has also published scholarship on homosexuality and communication, including the 1993 book Contested Closets: The Politics and Ethics of Outing, (University of Minnesota Press).
- Brent Calderwood’s music can be sampled here, and some of his graphic art can be seen here.
I was thinking about our discussion of Dude, You’re A Fag and I was reminded of those commercials where a group or a few people would be talking and say “that’s so gay” and then a woman would come over and tell them that you shouldn’t say that, how would you like it if I said ____ was so sixteen year old boy. That got me thinking. Where did that’s so gay even come from? Who decided to use it as a substitute for stupid or dumb? How did it catch on to become popular enough to need PSA commercials to attempt to stop it?
A quick google search turns up several websites against the phrase but nothing exactly telling me where or about when it started. I did find some articles about people being sued for using the phrase however, and many forums against the phrase. I haven’t heard the expression lately so hopefully it is going away.
So I recently watched the movie “what’s your number” which is of course about a girl who is obsessed with not raising the number of guys she has slept with past 20…
Have any of you dreaded that moment when you know your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to ask that loaded question of how many other people have you slept with, and as you watch their face for signs of reactions when you admit that number you dread the moment when they walk out because they will think you have slept with too many… I know I sure have. The reason I dread that moment is because, well to be honest, I’m embarrassed of the number of men I have slept with. As a sexually active female with a healthy libido I feel embarrassed about being embarrassed about my number. Why am I embarrassed? Because as a female I am judged more harshly for a higher number then a man would? In the movie mentioned above the main girl goes on a crazy adventure to try to find her ex-lovers because she does not want to go over -the number of 20 partners, and thus she must find her ex-lovers so she doesn’t sleep with anymore people. The fact that in the movie they make 20 seem like such an outlandish numbers makes me a little nervous for myself.
Do we feel like there is a number that is too high? For a female? For a male?